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oneyng:

The Fucksons

Goddamnit Chris go outside!

ultrafacts:

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Fuck cats

If I may ask, what are you religious views, if any?
Anonymous

thefrogman:

I grew up Catholic.

Baptism.

Taught by nuns in elementary school.

I stood. I sat. I knelt. I sang songs out of tune. I knelt some more. I yawned.

Sister Cathy yelled at me for eating a crayon.

First communion. Jesus crackers. Jesus wine.

First confession. “I stole my brother’s Legos and then lied to my mom about stealing his Legos and then he punched me. I’m hoping he confesses to you about the punching thing cuz that really hurt.”

Don’t forget to kneel.

Confirmation!

High school church youth group.

I read the bible. I was probably supposed to do this earlier.

The beginning bits seemed harsh. I liked Jesus quite a bit, but his stories never seemed to fit with the ones that surrounded them.

Questions arose.

Did they put animals that can swim on the boat? I mean, could you just leave the ducks off the ark to save space? Maybe they could swim along side and you just toss them bread. 

Why did he free Moses and make them wander around for so long? Haven’t they been through enough? 

(To Father Steve) Technically a whale can’t ingest a human. Jonah would have got caught in its throat and they both would have died.

*angry priest face*

So are you saying that God made a bet with Satan to see how much shit Job would put up with? That doesn’t seem very ethical for a deity. 

*angrier priest face*

Then I started learning about the politics of religion and more important questions arose. 

What’s wrong with being gay? That passage is in the same book that says slavery is totally fine. 

What’s wrong with contraception? People are dying of diseases that you could have prevented if your missionaries gave out condoms instead of bibles. 

And finally…

Why am I sick?…….. How is this someone’s plan for me? 

My views became very “if any.”

That world made no sense to me. I started working things out on my own and solving my problems without asking for His help. Those beliefs held me back. They held me back because they were not my beliefs. They were given to me by others and I went along with it. 

I don’t begrudge anyone with faith. I can’t say if they are wrong or right. I think faith helps a great deal of people. I still consider Father Steve my greatest mentor and one of the kindest (and most patient) individuals I’ve ever known.

I know a lot of people seek answers of creation and life after death, but I don’t think about that much anymore. I don’t really care. My mind has filled up with so many curiosities that may actually have an answer. Answers I can grasp and understand. Trying to know the unknown seems futile to me. 

I just want to live the best life I can. I wish to be a good person because it is the right thing to do and not because I fear a fiery pit. I’m better at being a good person now, more-so than when I believed. 

Not believing works best for me. Results may vary.

Yup

heyfunniest:

is this even a kid show

Life lessons from Jake.

sukabu89:

rocketumbl:

sukabu

ありがたいっす(^ ^)

sentinulfuri:

frenchie-fries:

vergess:

boltonsrepairshop:

PSA - PLEASE READ AND SPREAD HE WORD!!!

IF YOU SEE THIS PLANT AT ALL, DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!

Giant hogweed (Heracleum mantegazzianum) is an invasive herb in the carrot family which was originally brought to North America from Asia and has since become established in the New England, Mid-Atlantic, and Northwest regions of the United States. Giant hogweed grows along streams and rivers and in fields, forests, yards and roadsides, and a giant hogweed plant can reach 14 feet or more in height with compound leaves up to 5 feet in width.

Giant Hogweed sap contains toxic chemicals known as Furanocoumarins. When these chemicals come into contact with the skin and are exposed to sunlight, they cause a condition called Phytophotodermatitis, a reddening of the skin often followed by severe blistering and burns. These injuries can last for several months, and even after they have subsided the affected areas of skin can remain sensitive to light for years. Furanocoumarins are also carcinogenic and teratogenic, meaning they can cause cancer and birth defects. The sap can also cause temporary (or even permanent) blindness if introduced into the eyes.

If someone comes into physical contact with Giant Hogweed, the following steps should be taken:
  • Wash the affected area thoroughly with soap and COLD water as soon as possible.
  • Keep the exposed area away from sunlight for 48 hours.
  • If Hogweed sap gets into the eyes, rinse them with water and wear sunglasses.
  • See a doctor if any sign of reaction sets in.
If a reaction occurs, the early application of topical steroids may lessen the severity of the reaction and ease the discomfort. The affected area of skin may remain sensitive to sunlight for a few years, so applying sun block and keeping the affected area shielded from the sun whenever possible are sensible precautions
PLEASE, DO NOT JUST READ AND SCROLL! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND POTENTIALLY LIFE-SAVING INFORMATION!!!

Extra note: if you live in Oregon, New Jersey, Michigan or New York and see one of these, call your state’s department of agriculture to report it, and trained professionals will come kill it before it can produce seeds and spread.

Frankly, if you see one in general, probably call your DOA and see if there’s a program in place.

Do not burn it, because the smoke will give you the same reaction.

If for some ungodly reason there isn’t a professional who can handle it for you (and please, please use a professional), the DOA of New York has [this guide] for how to deal with it yourself.

OH MY FUCK I HAVE THESE IN MY BACKYARD.

Snopes cites it as true!

evangelala:

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

techpriest-oni:

vinebox:

worst pain imaginable

The memories

ultrafacts:

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